Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
