Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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