he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
