A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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