I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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