Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
