need another drink. this is the easiest way
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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