He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
