there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
