Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
