I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
