You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You just made me feel so damn special
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
