Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
