i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
