Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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