she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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