quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
