Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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