i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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