Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
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