The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
