We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
