remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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