Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize