Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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