Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
