so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
