I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
