tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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