She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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