Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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