Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
