big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
