she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
