How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
this just has baby written all over it
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
