Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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