don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
