White coat. Heels.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
i think my cat just said my name.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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