Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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