the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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