Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
