Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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