with your own penis?
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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