I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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