Cold hands, warm shart.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
they're like a gay fantastic four
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
