Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
