I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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