I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
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