Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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