I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
