I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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