Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
