You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
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She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
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The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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