Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
