i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
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