yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
