hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
