I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize