he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
why does every cop we meet know your name?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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