she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
