Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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