Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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