We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
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This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
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He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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