Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
