marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
