Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
